Ross: Ford offering a new method to deal with delinquent car owners

Mar 8, 2023, 8:25 AM
Ford is looking for a new way to deal with delinquent car owners. (Getty Images)
(Getty Images)

I noticed that the Ford Motor Company filed for an interesting patent.

According to several websites, Ford is patenting — NOT a new safety system or a new method of propulsion — but a patent for cars that can re-possess themselves if you miss your payments.

The patent says that the system could be installed on any future vehicle with a data connection that could disable just about any system in the car.

This gives the car the ability to gradually cripple itself.

So that the first time you miss a payment, maybe the windows are slow to open.  Miss another payment, suddenly you can’t adjust the side mirror.  And then the air conditioner stops.  Or the radio falls silent.  Then the radio could actually start playing annoying noises every time you get in.

Until, ultimately, it locks the door.

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And then, if that doesn’t get you to pay — and this apparently is actually in the patent — cars with a self-driving capability could sense whether the garage door is open, and, if it is, the car would move itself to a public road to be met by a tow truck.

Eventually, of course, I suppose un-paid-for cars would just drive themselves to the bank — OR, depending on the mileage, directly to Kars for Kids.

Although I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, because this pretty much describes every computer I’ve ever owned, even the ones I’ve paid for.

Except — they can’t won’t drive themselves to the recycling center.  Unless they’re in cahoots with the car.

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Ross: Ford offering a new method to deal with delinquent car owners