Patti Payne: The 17 lessons leaders have taught me, regardless of industry

I’ve been thinking a lot about leadership lately.

I know leadership is not just spewing empty political talk and platitudes on both sides of the aisle. I wish for people in positions of power to stop rattling on in jibber-jabber and put some integrity — oh my gosh — even honesty in their words.

And that takes listening to the people who voted for them, and listening to those who didn’t. What? I can wish, can’t I?

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So what exactly is a leader, without naming anyone in particular?

My hair designer Michael said a leader is someone you listen to and not get bored. Michael’s actually quite a leader, and he doesn’t even know it. He said a leader has to have something to say that stops and makes you listen. Even if you disagree, you listen and you hear. Those are two different things. Think on that, ya hear!

Take the case of Dan Wilson, the current manager of the Seattle Mariners. Wilson has “it” — that special something that is leadership. So long as I’ve known him, he’s had it, going all the way back to when he first came to the M’s. People are drawn to him because of that “it” factor.

I’ve learned indelible lessons from leaders like Wilson, important lessons from well-known national leaders, and even more lessons from very low-key individuals who wouldn’t be considered conventional leaders, but are still leaders nonetheless.

Let me share some of those lessons leaders taught me to live by.

1. Joy is a choice. Choose joy every day. We can always find it even in the smallest things.
2. Small things are often the biggest, never discount them.
3. Be your authentic self and love that person.
4. Find the highlights of each day, not the lowlights. Commit them to memory or write them down.
5. Practice kindness. It needs to come naturally. It feels so good.
6. Laugh with abandon. Leaders do.
7. Better yet, laugh at yourself!
8. Surprise yourself too.
9. Leaders learn from the most unlikely sources, including plants and animals. Be humble enough to know that.
10. Leaders look people in the eye.
11. Leaders listen to understand before they respond.
12. Leaders stay relevant. They’re up with the times … and all the technology.
13. They help, but never manipulate.
14. They learn the right time to say yes.
15. Leaders are for any imaginable scenario. Always.
16. Leaders cry at the news. It’s horrific what’s happening in our world.
17. In your own orbit, be your best self.

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So there it is. The greatest leaders radiate a spotlight on others to let their lights shine. That’s a leader for you.