Tax reform goes full Seinfeld
Dec 14, 2017, 6:28 AM | Updated: 11:59 am
(AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite, File)
(AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite, File)
As every American over 30 knows, the fake holiday of Festivus always begins in the same way.
“The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances.”
And so it was on Wednesday as a House-Senate conference committee met for the first time to put together a final compromise on tax reform.
“Senator, you’re out of order.”
“I’m not the only one here out of order.”
Democrats found out as the meeting began that Republicans had already reached a deal without them and that no debate would be allowed.
“This is not regular order. This is not the kind of conference committee I grew up with.”
In the true spirit of Festivus, they began the airing of the grievances.
“This is the ultimate betrayal of the middle class.”
“This is fiscally irresponsible. It’s a ticking time bomb.”
“This is a big, fat, wet kiss to corporations.”
It finally fell to Republican Don Young of Alaska to remind everyone that if the bill is really as bad as Democrats think, they should be happy.
“Thank God I’m wearing my cowboy boots today. You know why cowboys wear cowboy boots? To keep their damn pants clean from the horse manure that comes from people who don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.”
“I appreciate my colleague from Alaska’s comments, but when you create the manure, you have to walk it.”
Checking the calendar, we should all know exactly what we’ve stepped in — in plenty of time for Festivus 2020. That gives us a full three years to prepare for the feats of strength.
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