How to vote for president while saving your marriage
Nov 8, 2016, 5:51 AM
Couples may not agree on who should be the next president, but there are ways to cope, KIRO Radio's Dave Ross says. (AP)
(AP)
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The campaign is over, the choices are clear,
It’s time to be counted, and what have we here?
Why, a happy young couple, their ballots in hand
After hemming and hawing, they must take a stand.
But as they debated, a fallout occurred
‘Cause he was for Him, but she was for Her.
You’d vote for that woman, he said with a sneer,
A woman whose emails could just disappear?
And you’d vote for him? She said with disgust,
How could you ignore what he said on that bus?
He said unfair, you’re dissing my hero
She said so what – His tax bill was Zero
Then he said Benghazi, and she said the Russians
Their marriage devolved to a cable discussion.
Trump is an outrage, she said to him
He’s misogynistic – his outlook, so grim!
Hillary’s worse than that, he said to her
She’s clearly a crook. And her memory’s a blur.
Trump is out of control, he’s vain and he’s bitter
His own staff was forced to divorce him from Twitter
Hillary’s sick and she’s racked with pneumonia
And once she’s in office she won’t even phone ya.
They went round and round with such increasing fury
That some of the neighbors were starting to worry.
She would say something, and He would refute Her
And then the phone rang – it was Anderson Cooper.
He said this is crazy, I must interrupt
It’s just an election – so kiss and make up.
So, they both swallowed hard, and went out on a limb
He voted for Her, she voted for Him.
Elections are simple, love is complex
They filled out their ballots, and then they had sex.
The outrage was gone, and so was the stress.
This much they agreed on – they both hate the press.
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Tune in to KIRO Newsradio weekdays at 5am for Dave Ross on Seattle's Morning News.
