It worked!

Last month I bought a new cell phone, and followed all the directions for my $50 rebate: I enclosed a signed copy of the contract, enclosed the receipt, clipped the bar code from the box, sacrificed a fatted calf, and howled at the moon.

My rebate arrived — a VISA-style card from Verizon with an activation number. So last week, during one of my infrequent visits to a gas station, I decided to activate it and pump me some free gas. Called the number, voice says “Congratulations, your card is activated”, which I immediately took to mean that my card was activated, put the card in the pump — and look at this! It wants my zip code! But MY zip code is apparently not VERIZON’s zip code, so card refused!

Which is why on today’s show I joined Luke in whining about the dirty little secret behind rebates, which is, that companies hope you give up and never cash them in.

But I was certainly NOT giving up. On the way home today, I conducted the Albertson’s Previously-Frozen Sockeye test, and I can report that the Verizon card DID in fact work, instantly liberating a generous fillet. I immediately felt guilty about impugning Verizon’s corporate personhood, and quickly posted this to quiet my conscience. Sorry, Verizon — how could I have doubted you?