Keeping calm and staying Canadian

“The stress was really beyond and above,” said Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper, who hid in a closet for 15 minutes during Wednesday’s lone wolf attack on Parliament. He was guarded by his fellow Parliament members who whittled flagpoles into spears.

“If the shooter would have turned left or right into one of the caucus rooms, I’m sure there would have been extreme loss of life,” said Harper.

As they returned to work Thursday, whatever their politics, they all had something in common.

“I heard gunshots, not knowing what might happen next, said Harper. “It changes your perspective.”

Harper heads the Conservative party, and in his address to Parliament he even urged them to get help for PTSD.

“If any of you are experiencing any kind of physical stress as a result of what occurred yesterday, please take the time to see a physician.”

As for the leader of the Liberal opposition, Tom Mulcair vowed that the relaxed atmosphere on Parliament Hill would not change, including the mass yoga session known as The Bliss Project.

“Every Wednesday at noon, you’ll see hundreds of people
[…] doing yoga on the front lawn. It is a symbol. We can’t allow that openness and freedom to be rolled back either,” Mulcair said.

Organized Bliss! That is so Canada. Just don’t cross their Sergeant at Arms. I understand that under those black robes, he packs a pretty serious handgun.