The real secret to remembering names

Here’s the real reason you don’t remember names: not because you have a bad memory for names, but because you don’t care.

A professor at Kansas State University this week issued a study pointing out that we remember what we’re interested in and so, unless you’re in a business like sales or politics or teaching where names are important, it’s natural to forget them. And it’s embarrassing! Because a greeting is a social transaction, and if someone remembers your name and you can’t remember theirs it’s like finding yourself at the checkout with an empty wallet.

When this study came out a few days ago I heard people saying this shows that we all need to learn to care more about people, to be more interested in our relationships. Basically saying that people who forget names are rude and should be making an extra effort to remember them.

But may I just say, isn’t this a two way street? How about if the people whose names we’ve been forgetting, would just make an extra effort to be a little more interesting? Maybe the reason we’re not interested is that they’re DULL.

I don’t fault them for this. We can’t ALL be interesting. All I’m saying is – if a person isn’t interesting, why should they expect us to remember their name? Especially with the number of strange names today. You can’t even tell what sex people are anymore.

Hello, my name is Syntax and this is my wife Thesaurus.
Here’s another idea: why not go back to names that describe what you do? Baker. Miller. Cook. You knew immediately who they were. But now you can’t tell. Especially with a name like Dave Ross. No one remembers me. But if I say “Hello, my name is Mr. Radio Voice, how are you?” You can’t forget that! And now we have a relationship.