The referees return and a nation bows in gratitude

The NFL refs are back — marking first time since the Great Recession that a group of unionized workers actually squeezed something significant out of their bosses.

And not only that, Americans are actually on the side of the union! Including certain politicians who you wouldn’t expect.

And every other union is right now trying to figure how they can pull off the same thing.

Well, be careful. Because there are some special conditions here.

Number one, this precedent only applies if your workplace is surrounded by television cameras that can document, in slow motion, the incompetence of your replacements.

And number two, you have to have bosses arrogant enough to get your replacements from Lingerie Football.

So there are special conditions.

I think we all have this fantasy when the consultants show up and start firing people that the company will tank when we’re gone, and a few days later the phone will ring, and it’ll be your boss, in tears, begging you to come back.

But it doesn’t work that way. Just ask Charlie Sheen.

When the bank replaces the human tellers with the ATMs, 70,000 customers don’t surround the bank and scream beer-enhanced obscenities — no, we just scream quietly and alone.

But this one time, for these 121 part-time NFL refs who will now see their annual pay go to $205,000 under this contract — a relieved grateful nation stands in share-the-wealth solidarity.

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