DAVE ROSS

Why can’t we goof off?

May 30, 2011, 8:14 AM | Updated: 8:15 am

Listen to Dave’s Commentary: Why can’t we goof off?

Today is that rarest of days — a vacation day that Americans actually use. ONLY when the whole office is closed do we feel OK about taking a day off.

Expedia’s latest vacation time study found the average American takes only 14 paid vacation days. Even workaholic Germans are required to take at least 24.

Only in Japan, where workers don’t so much work for a company as have conjugal relations with it, do they take less.

And I think it’s because…we’re afraid of vacations. Not just fear of losing the job, it’s fear of the whole vacation process.

Because we Americans can’t just goof off, we have to GO somewhere. Do something on the bucket list. We have to Eat Pray Love. Climb the Eiffel Tower. Crush grapes in an Italian vineyard.

Which means planning, reservations, and then, you have to do them WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY.

Sure you love them, but now you’re all IN THE SAME ROOM! In fact you’re together ALL DAY, surrounded by strangers, with only each other to talk to. Conversations that begin “Daddy, I’m gonna be sick…”

Of COURSE we’d rather stay at work. No, the only way to use your vacation days is to find a decent vacation spot, and just MOVE there.

The Italians figured this out long ago. They take the most vacation of anybody: 42 days! Why? Because they already live in Italy! They’re surrounded by sunshine, quaint villages, healthy food, and fine wine. They elect random passers-by to high office. They don’t care!

They only work when they need a break from vacation.

In the meantime we will continue to vacation the American way: Just zone out at the desk. And hope no one needs to land.

Dave's Commentary

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Why can’t we goof off?