Recognizing anxiety in kids during COVID, and how to help them cope

How are your kids and teens faring during the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic? And what can we do to help children and parents who may be struggling? Alex Molleston Luke, who owns a family therapy practice in University Place, joined the Gee and Ursula Show to discuss.

“So in my practice, I’m seeing a lot of increases in anxiety in kids — well, in everyone, to be honest — but in particular, talking about kids and teens, increasing anxiety and increases in depression. There’s been a lot more social isolation, obviously. So we’re seeing the impact of that on kids in their mental health, and on families as a whole as well,” she said.

She outlines some of the signs that parents should be looking out for in their kids.

“So I think that one of the things to think about is, especially for younger kiddos, is psychosomatic symptoms. Sometimes you’ll see that in a form of headaches or stomach aches, also withdrawing from typical activities. Obviously, we’re not able to engage in all of our typical activities, but when you see your kid not enjoying the things that they used to enjoy … for example, a kid who no longer really wants to leave the house, or feels anxious about pretty basic things, even just visiting the store,” she said.

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As with adults, kids are being impacted in different ways along socioeconomic lines, going well beyond anxiety issues into basic needs.

“In lower socioeconomic status families, you’re seeing a lot of basic needs not being met, and that’s really concerning as well,” Molleston Luke said. “A lot of kids are on free lunch programs or reduced breakfast programs. Being out of school is not just for academics. That’s also a safe, warm place for kids to be to get their needs met.”

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“But even for other populations, like some of the populations that I work with — kids who have educated or well-resourced families — we’re seeing life trajectories change in ways that were unimaginable from strained marriages or financial struggles, to even missed scholarships,” she added. “For teens, especially, there’s an increased rate of suicidality and suicidal ideation as well. So it’s affecting kids across the board.”

How can parents help kids’ well-being and feel more connected during these times?

“So in regards to parents, I think it’s important for them to remember that that connection with their friends is paramount, especially for preteens and teenagers, so to be able to encourage that as much as possible,” she said. “I think that we’re resilient as humans. I think that people forget that their kids are resilient, and so how do we build resilience? Well, we have to get creative, right? And some of the innovative ways of connecting via technology has been really cool to see.”

“Do your best to increase connection and relationships as much as possible. I’ve seen some really cool creative ways from doing online zoo tours together … joining in with a family members doing free Uno … I’ve even had some of my families, especially with some of the preteen boys, really enjoy doing an online game of like Roblox or something with their cool uncle or their fun aunt,” she added. “So any sort of connection like that is something that mediates trauma and the impact of trauma.”

To listen to the rest of Molleston Luke’s advice, including how parents can lead by example and help their kids not feel helpless during COVID, listen here.

Listen to the Gee and Ursula Show weekday mornings from 9 a.m. – 12 p.m. on KIRO Radio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.