Jake: Dating apps’ ‘Netflix Syndrome’ is why more young people are single than ever before

Young people are waiting longer to get married, and I think I know why.

I came across a striking graph recently that laid it all out. In 1975, 91% of American women and 81% of men were married by age 30. Today, those numbers have collapsed to just 25% for women and 16% for men. Something fundamental has shifted — but what?

Bear with me, because this analogy is a little strange. But I think it works.

‘Netflix Syndrome’ — the paradox of choice

Remember life before Netflix? On a Friday night, you’d drive to Blockbuster or Hollywood Video, scan the shelves, and grab one of the 10 or 15 copies of whatever was popular — if you got there early enough. Otherwise, you wandered the aisles until something caught your eye. Or you went home and rewatched something from your own collection.

I was genuinely proud of my DVD shelf back in high school and college. “Indiana Jones.” “Star Wars.” Nearly every Nicolas Cage film ever made. I watched those movies over and over, happily, because they were my only options and I loved them.

Then Netflix arrived — and suddenly there were 25,000 choices. And I couldn’t find a single thing to watch.

This is sometimes called Netflix Syndrome, or more formally, the paradox of choice: When you’re flooded with too many options, the fear of not choosing the perfect thing leaves you choosing nothing at all.

I think the same thing is happening in modern dating.

I feel genuinely lucky to have met and married my wife just one year before the online dating app boom. For most of human history, finding a life partner was largely a matter of proximity. My parents met at ages 3 and 4 in the small town where they grew up, married at 19 and 20, and have been happily together for more than 50 years. I met my wife at work, which was once one of the most reliable places to find a partner. We’re celebrating our 15th anniversary this July.

Today, I watch friends and the next generation swipe through 200 potential matches in a single evening, maybe landing one date, maybe not. And all the while, their future spouse might be a five-minute walk away. They might already share an office.

The technology is remarkable, but the unintended consequences are real.

Dating apps have turned human connection into a Netflix queue: Infinite options, paralysis, and the nagging feeling that something better is just one more swipe away. Yes, there are other factors at play — careers, finances, shifting priorities. But I can’t help wondering, would that shockingly low percentage of 30-year-olds who are married look a little different if people were swiping less and actually going outside more?

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