Harger: The holidays can be dangerous for mental health, prioritize yourself

We made it through the darkest day of the year. Quite literally. The winter solstice is behind us. From here, the days get longer. The light returns. One minute at a time. Then two. Then five. It builds so slowly you barely notice. And then one evening you look up, and the sun’s still out at dinner, and you realize you made it through.

To everything there is a season. A time to weep and a time to laugh. A time to mourn and a time to dance. Ecclesiastes doesn’t promise the seasons will be easy. It just promises they’ll turn.

I lost three people I knew this year. The darkness got them. I don’t fully understand why. I don’t think anyone ever fully does. But I think about them often. I think about the weight they must’ve carried. I think about the moments they couldn’t see past. I wish I’d known. I wish I could’ve said something. I wish they’d held on for one more season.

So if you’re listening right now and you’ve been waiting for a sign that things are going to get better, consider this your sign.

You didn’t know how it would come. Maybe you thought it’d be a person or a phone call or a talking sunbeam out of a cloud. But sometimes it’s just a man on the other side of a radio telling you that you have value. That this world is better with you in it. That the darkness you feel right now is real, but it’s not permanent. This is your sign.

Just look outside. Today will be a moment brighter than yesterday. Tomorrow brighter still. These things build. Light returns. It always does.

I know how dark it feels sometimes. Not just the sky. Everything. The weight of it. The anger is everywhere you look. The shouting online. The algorithms feed you the worst of humanity until you forget there’s any other kind. Put it down. Step outside. Look someone in the eye. That’s real.

And I need you to hear this: your feelings are real. I’m not going to pretend they aren’t. But feelings can lie to you. They can take a hard season and convince you it’s your whole life. They can take real pain and tell you it’ll never end.

That voice in your head that says it’ll always be this dark? That’s not wisdom. That’s not the truth. That’s the darkness trying to keep you. And it’s very, very good at sounding like your own voice.

The holidays are hard. I know that. For a lot of people, this season isn’t about joy. It’s about absence. Empty chairs. Memories that sting. Expectations that feel impossible to meet. I’m not here to tell you to cheer up. I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone. And that the season will turn. Spring always comes. Even when you’ve forgotten what it looks like.

We’re entering a time of renewal. It won’t feel like it for a while. January is cold and gray and long. But the light’s already growing. You just have to hold on long enough to see it.

If you’re struggling, reach out. Call someone. Text someone. The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is there. You’re not a burden. You’re not broken. You’re not alone. You’re someone who matters to people you may not even realize are paying attention.

This is your sign. Brighter days are ahead. I promise you.

Charlie Harger is the host of “Seattle’s Morning News” on KIRO Newsradio. You can read more of his stories and commentaries here. Follow Charlie on X and email him here. 

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