Ross: A national divorce isn’t the solution, but some people should move

This week we’ve seen a couple of surveys about Seattle’s happiness rating. One shows us near the top for happiness, and one has us closer to the bottom.

That’s too much uncertainty for me, so I think it’s time to get to the bottom of this.

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I said Tuesday that you could make Seattle a lot happier just by cleaning up the graffiti, the roadside litter, and the tents and placing professional mimes in colorful costumes on every downtown street corner.

But sooner or later, we also have to accept that some people were just not cut out to live here. And that’s not unique to Seattle, it’s happening all across the country. There is a diversity backlash going on among people who are unhappy with where they live – especially if it means being near people they can’t stand and following laws they don’t believe in. It’s bad enough that the United States is now rated as only the 16th happiest country – which has us down there with the UK! Fifteen places behind Finland!

It’s so bad that congressional superstar Marjorie Taylor Greene is proposing a national divorce so that states with different political leanings could go their separate ways.

“It’s actually separating by red states and blue states and making state rights and state power a lot stronger than it is right now,” Greene said.

Ok – but what happens with swing states? And what happens when the red states are cut off from all that blue state tax money?

So I have a different idea – given that we have this falling out over so many issues like sex education, student loans, pronouns, speed limits, gluten – I propose that every American household be entitled to a one-time, federally-funded re-location subsidy to move to the state of their choice.

Admit it, we all know people who clearly belong in Idaho. And other people who would be much happier in Oregon if only they could remember how to get there.

I think that by simply helping people to get to their happy place, there’d be less road rage, fewer jaywalkers, no counter-protestors, and more cheerful graffiti.

And the American happiness rating would be off the charts.

Eat our dust, Finland.

Listen to Seattle’s Morning News with Dave Ross and Colleen O’Brien weekday mornings from 5 – 9 a.m. on KIRO Newsradio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.

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