Harger: A local’s brutally honest guide to the Puyallup Fair (Washington State Fair)
Aug 30, 2025, 5:00 AM
The bustling Washington State Fair at night. (Photo courtesy of the Washington State Fair)
(Photo courtesy of the Washington State Fair)
The Washington State Fair opens today, and I’m about to share some potentially divisive Puyallup Fair hot takes that might get me banned from the scone line.
First things first: It will always be the Puyallup Fair to me, so kudos to fair leaders for bringing back the “Do The Puyallup” theme song.
Fair food: What’s worth your money (and stomach)
The Winners: Scones and Dole Whip are the only sweet foods worth the 20-minute wait.
The Losers: Funnel cakes are just elephant ears having an identity crisis, and deep-fried Twinkies are what happens when America stops trying. If you’re getting a burger at the fair, you’re the person who orders vanilla at Cold Stone.
And those bricks of curly fries? If you’re not sharing, I’m calling your doctor myself.
The animal barns: A strategic approach
I don’t mind spending a few minutes checking out the champion steers and stallions, but I don’t need to see every single one.
Pro tip: They should put the blue ribbon winners at the front. That way, I can pop in, say “Hey, that there’s a nice-looking horse,” and move on. I don’t need to see them all. It’s a big fair, people.
Rides at the Puyallup Fair: The Gravitron reigns supreme
I love the rollercoasters, but man, rides are expensive. My kids will tell you that the Gravitron is the pinnacle of human achievement.
Also, why don’t they call it the Gravitron at the fair anymore? Nobody says they’re heading over to the Enterprise 2000. They say Gravitron. It’s a human salad spinner. I read somewhere that it’s been “turning your elephant ear into a $12 mistake since 1983.”
Midway games: A public service warning
Congratulations, you spent $47 to win a $3 stuffed banana that’s too big for your car, so you get to carry it around all day. Plus, I can’t bring it on the Gravitron.
Concerts: The hidden gem
They do a really good job with these — no bad seats. Plus, I love walking by the grandstands without even having a ticket, Krusty Pup in hand, and unexpectedly hearing Christopher Cross.
“Is that … ‘Sailing’ live?” Yes. Yes, it is.
The hot tub display: So many questions
Why are we window shopping for hot tubs next to livestock? And yes, they should rent Speedos. I’ll wait in one while my family pretends to care about quilts.
Best part of the fair? The shopping pavilion
I stop here last. Where else can you buy miracle mops, get your sneakers cleaned, avoid political volunteers, and wonder if this is finally the year you become a solar panel person? Spoiler: It’s not.
Charlie Harger is the host of “Seattle’s Morning News” on KIRO Newsradio. You can read more of his stories and commentaries here. Follow Charlie on X and email him here.
