Writer, father shocked at awful baby names on new lists

Giving your baby a unique name might make you stand out as a parent, but could come back to haunt your child. (AP Photo/File)

It’s a problem with everyone; this is everyone
collectively being stupid and giving their kids terrible,
terrible names, according to Drew Magary with DeadSpin.

People’s imagination, or rather, lack-thereof, is what
spawned his piece “American Baby
Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse.” Magary told 97.3 KIRO FM’s Ross &
Burbank Show that selfish parents are to blame for
awful names like Izander, Sketch, and Tybee.

“People choose unique names for their children so that
they stand out,” explained Magary, who was inspired to
write on the topic after reading a common baby-naming
article in the June 2012 issue of “Parents” magazine.

In the case of these odd-named children, moms and dads
want to stand out and be congratulated on naming their
children special names even though children earn their
uniqueness.

“It’s almost like they think they can’t name then ‘John’
because that’s been copyrighted,” said Magary.

In reality, giving a child a name so unique it makes them
stand out could be more of a hindrance than a blessing. In
20 years, if there is a naked picture somewhere on the
Internet of Zebulon Kierson Larson, it will probably be
easier to find when Googled than Jacob Larson.

Along with naming children after random nouns, or adding
extra unnecessary letters, or in some cases, apostrophes,
(how you doing Brook’Lynn?) Magary doesn’t think all new
names are bad.

He used our current president as an example. “If you named
your kid Barack 10 years ago, it would have been weird,”
Magary said. Now, there is a history behind the naming
choice.

Magary wasn’t just reading “Parents” for giggles – he does
have two kids at home. While he wasn’t ready to give their
names away on the air, he did promise they wouldn’t show
up on any ‘lists of unique names.’