Former WSU QB Ryan Leaf explains emotional response to Hilinski’s death

Former Washington State University quarterback Ryan Leaf says he wishes he could have stopped WSU quarterback Tyler Hilinski from taking his own life.

Hilinski remembered as genuine, well-liked

Leaf tweeted an emotional statement following the death of Hilinski on Jan. 16.

“I’m so f—– angry, I can’t stop crying. Every human life is precious. All I wish is that I could’ve been in that apt in Pullman, looked that amazing young man in the eyes & said you’re loved Tyler! I’m just like you & I’ve been here & there is hope, hugged him & never let go.”

Hilinski was found dead from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his apartment. A rifle and note were recovered nearby.

Leaf said he too was once suicidal.

“I was that guy,” he told KIRO Radio’s Dori Monson. “I was right there. I didn’t think I was worth it so I wanted to take my life.

“It seems so foreign to me now because of where I’m at, who I’ve surrounded myself with. I just know how he felt in that moment and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I have a lot of emotion behind it because as a father now, that night it happened I couldn’t sleep … What the parents would have had to go through, it is the scariest thing I can imagine right now and it makes me very sad.”

Leaf says someone with suicidal thoughts may seem happy to others. An important reason to raise awareness.

The day he was found dead, Hilinski ran in the morning and set up a time with teammates for drills, The Seattle Times reports. Hilinski never showed up for weight training in the afternoon.

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours at 1-800-273-8255. If you prefer to text, the Crisis Text Line is available 24/7, text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the U.S. to reach a trained crisis counselor.