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What’s next? Airlines scanning our large intestines?

Here it is, the latest airline indignity (pardon me) amenity: the 22-inch sky toilet.

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According to Bloomberg, airlines are downsizing economy class toilets to 22.4 inches wide at chest level to make room for an extra row of revenue-producing seats.

Nothing enhances the in-flight experience like forcing more people to use a smaller toilet.

Is that really the only way to save space? Why not replace economy class with benches so you can just squeeze all the skinny people together?

I’m sure we’ll get used to it. It might require a new in-flight toilet etiquette. Perhaps having the person who’s just finishing hold open the door so the next person can back in.

It practically guarantees a whole new season of hysterical smartphone videos featuring flight attendants using the jaws of life.

Bloomberg quotes one passenger who said helping his 4-year-old son navigate in such a small space was like a yoga exercise. Of course, on the ground, you’d have to pay good money for that!

Which brings us to the moral of the story:

 

It is not a laughing matter
If you have a smallish bladder
And the guy ahead can’t squeeze into the can.

I used to hate the order
To throw away my water.
But now I think I finally understand

In fact I think at check-in
They should scan your large intestine

And when it’s been deciphered
They could offer you a diaper.

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