Just another day at the office

It starts when you sit down at your computer and you notice something.

“Hey, I haven’t gotten a new email for 10 minutes,” you say. And then there’s a voice from across the room, “Is your Internet working?” And then another voice, “Are you getting any files from the server?”

Then to you realize what’s happened. There’s been another OSU: Overnight Software Update.

“The exchange updated its software last night and solved a minor connectivity issue right before the open, but the system crashed midday,” reported CBS correspondent Marlie Hall, speaking about how trading was stalled for four hours Wednesday at the New York Stock Exchange because of a computer problem.

Been there! It’s called “another day at the office.”

Thirty years ago, when stuff like this happened, we’d just drag out the typewriters and keep working. Now, of course, the first thing we think is that it’s a cyber attack.

United Airlines computers went down, the Wall Street Journal website wouldn’t load &#8212 must be a cyber attack. But all the usual authorities said that no, there was no attack.

Rather, it was a software glitch.

Leaving us face to face with the even more terrifying prospect that this is just the way things are now.
　
As one of the stock traders told the press: Is it going to happen in an electronic market? Absolutely. Is it amazing it hasn’t happened more often? Yes. Are we prepared to deal with it? We are.
　
And in fact, if you Google the phrase “bug-free software” &#8212 once your computer’s working again &#8212 you’ll discover that among programmers there is no such thing. There is no foolproof test that can insure a program won’t crash.

That’s why there will always be overnight software updates. And, in fact, that’s why we joyfully download every new operating system hoping this is that one that at long last will fix the bugs in the old system. But it never does. It can’t. It only introduces newly improved bugs.

That’s why every new software release comes with a disclaimer in capital letters that no one reads because we already know what it says: SOFTWARE AND SERVICES ARE PROVIDED “AS IS” AND “AS AVAILABLE,” WITH ALL FAULTS AND WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND. YOU EXPRESSLY ACKNOWLEDGE AND AGREE THAT THE ENTIRE RISK AS TO SATISFACTORY QUALITY, PERFORMANCE, ACCURACY AND EFFORT IS WITH YOU. YOU ASSUME THE ENTIRE COST OF ALL NECESSARY SERVICING, REPAIR OR CORRECTION.

All your software carries an iron-clad guarantee that there is no guarantee of any kind.

So the good news is that we weren’t attacked by bad guys. The bad news is that the software was perfectly capable of failing all by itself.