Dave Ross’ alarming encounter with an angry car

Cars have always had faces. Older vehicles more so than today’s cars — the front grille doesn’t grin at you as much as cars from 40 years ago. Hybrids and electrics barely even smirk, but the face is still there.

Road-rage shooting on I-5 a harsh reminder

What I’ve noticed though, is that more and more cars seem angry.

I was driving on a fairly lonely road one night. I must have inadvertently cut some guy off because as I crossed the intersection he decided he was just going to stay on my tail. That is bad enough. But what really gave it the Twilight Zone effect was his headlights.

They looked like lizard eyes. And they had eyebrows.

Since then I’ve noticed that a lot of cars now have these LED eyebrows. Sometimes over the headlights, sometimes bracketing the headlights. The really evil ones have them under the headlights. Like Doonesbury eyes — eyes that seem to know you’re guilty of something. My fear was that it was a Twitter troll and that I had somehow gotten between him and his keyboard.

Don’t let the self-driving cars hear this

And really, what do you do in a situation like that? You’re helpless. My scrawny little taillights were no match for those icy white eyebrows. But I just took deep Yoga breaths. I told myself this is a perfectly well-adjusted person who has no idea what message his car is sending. The driver was probably just trying to save gas by drafting me.

But I’m never driving that road again. At least until my tail lights grow some eyebrows.

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