DAVE ROSS

Are you ready for some magic?

Jul 28, 2011, 9:55 AM | Updated: 10:05 am

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Things are finally moving in Congress, painful though it may be.

“I’ve had kidney stones, they’re easier to pass than this!” remarked Rep. Steve Cohen of Tennessee.

Anyone getting scared yet? Besides investors, retirees, banks, and most of the animal kingdom? Well, Senate leader Harry Reid says we can all relax:

“Senator Reid told reporters yesterday not to worry,” says one journalist, “because magical things can happen in a hurry, in congress, from time to time.”

And at politco.com Ben Smith revealed just who the magicians are. “Both democratic fundraisers and republican fundraisers have been making phone calls, showing up in offices.”

It’s the fundraisers! The big donors. Who have apparently decided it’s time to cast their spell:

“What they want to see happen is get the debt ceiling raised and then we can have a longer term fight of do we cut entitlements,” Smith says.

But you know how it is with magical spells.

“They haven’t straight of threatened to not give them money for campaigns going forward because there would be a pretty negative reaction to that,” Smith says.

No, that would be a little too extortiony… no, what you do is, you walk into the office with a big smile, shake hands, you sit down, and you say something like:

“Nice office you have here. A lot better than that pest control truck you used to drive…”

And then, magically, out of nowhere:

[Ominous music from negative campaign ads begins playing.]

… And the debt ceiling disappears!

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Are you ready for some magic?