Are you ready to be a hero?

Have you heard that the TSA is relaxing some of the check point rules? How could you not – it’s all over the news.

Air travelers will be permitted to carry some small pocket knives provided the blades are no longer than 2.36 inches.

There you are – the exact dimensions of the kind of knives that will now be allowed on aircraft.

As I was watching and hearing all these reports all I could think was – why don’t we just hold a How-To workshop for terrorists?

Soon, they say passengers will be able to carry some golf clubs, lacrosse sticks, and ski polls aboard the plane. The decision allows for pool cues too.

Obviously the TSA should update its procedures from time to time – but why splash it all over the news? We should keep the bad guys guessing.

But no – we just come out and tell them – sure bring your pool cues into the passenger cabin. (I mean seriously – I see people who can’t even stuff a sweater into the overhead bin. You’re going to allow pool cues and lacrosse rackets?)

Of course this will lead passengers to demand even more changes.

One passenger at the airport told a reporter, “In fact on the way here they took a little jar of peanut butter, and I had no idea that counted as a liquid and a gel.”

But you see – and not to offend you, sir, but I’m actually GLAD they arbitrarily confiscated your peanut butter. Not just to protect the planes, but because I find that with all the armed wackos out there, the secure area of the airport concourse has become a relaxing oasis of disarmament. Plenty of shopping, any kind of snack you want, and if by some chance you run into the occasional crack pot – you don’t have to worry about a shootout. Or a knife fight. Or someone threatening to fling peanut butter at you.