DAVE ROSS

Mall fights prove it’s time to cut Christmas vacation short

Dec 28, 2016, 6:20 AM | Updated: 12:46 pm

Mall fights broke out around the country on Monday. Police found melees of as many as 500 teenagers.

Of course, you can go on YouTube and quickly find many examples of full-contact shopping, but these were close to riots.

A story from KIRO 7 details the fights that caused panic and prompted numerous false reports of gunfire.

And the reason it happened? Well, here’s what the NYT headline said: “After 15 big mall fights, police see a culprit – teenage boredom.”

Song: Dave Ross performs ‘Walking With an iPhone in Your Hand’

Teenage boredom! Possibly helped along by social media, although that doesn’t necessarily mean it was deliberately organized; that could just mean a bunch of teenagers go to the mall, then Snapchat their friends who figure, “hey that looks better than what I’m doing,” and pretty soon you have a crowd.

Most of the fights apparently involved teenagers — but what do you expect?

Kids can’t help it that a smartphone full of mall invites is waiting for them at the end of the birth canal these days. It’s all they know.

If people my age had been raised on social media, you might have 500 baby boomers suddenly show up at a mall. Although I doubt we’d riot, we’d just buy a lot of chewable vitamin supplements.

Anyway, I think this can be controlled.

Number one, because these fights tend to break out at food courts, get rid of the food courts. If you shop so much that your stomach’s growling, it’s time to just go home and eat.

And number two, once Christmas is over, end Christmas vacation and get those kids back in school! We’ve been celebrating the holiday since Halloween.

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Mall fights prove it’s time to cut Christmas vacation short