My eyes are opened

I came home last week and the first thing my wife says to me “You know it’s blue and black right?”

And I said “What, you mean that silly dress on the Internet?? Not you too!” And that’s how I found out that I am a gold and white person married to a blue and black person.

We couldn’t agree on any of the pictures, “Pale blue and brown,” said my wife.

And I asked, what does this look like to you? She replied, “medium blue and charcoal.”

What does this look like, I asked, pointing to the last photo. “Blue and black,” she said.

She waits 41-and-a-half years to come out of the closet, “The pale blue part, to me, is the lighter one.”

Do you see any gold in this one? I asked, pointing to another picture.

“No, no gold at all.”

So after going round and round about this, with the recorder running, but I’m pretty sure we weren’t faking anything, I asked a different question.

Which dress would she prefer to wear? I asked here, do you like the color combination white and gold?

“No. First of all, it wouldn’t look good on me. There’s not enough contrast.” She thought the white and gold wouldn’t look good on her.

Whereas I like white and gold and thought it would look great on her.

I think blue and black is ugly.

I had an epiphany! My brain must be altering the colors to match my vision of what I think would look good on her. So as annoying as this whole thing has been, I have to say thank you to whoever started it.

“The thing is, if it’s a dress, you’ve got to wear it. And I don’t know where I would wear something that color.”

Now I know why so many of my Christmas gifts stay in the closet.