No surprise here if presidential candidates are incubating alien life forms

We hear that Donald Trump will now be releasing his medical reports on Dr. Oz and that Hillary Clinton has also been invited to appear.

I’m not holding my breath on that.

I have to believe reporters in Clinton’s press contingent have to be pretty ticked off by now. Most of them carefully avoided the “why-does-Hillary-cough-so-much” story line as beneath their dignity, only to find the rumors were not so crazy after all.

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For reporters who’ve been around for a while, this has to remind them of 20 years ago when the mainstream press ignored all those crazy rumors of her husband’s recreational habits, only to be scooped by some obscure website called the Drudge Report.

So, I predict that from here on, no rumor will be too small to track down. By November it will turn out that both candidates are incubating alien life forms, and even the full release of their medical records will not be enough.

What we have here are a soon-to-be 69-year-old woman and a 70-year-old man fighting for a job that has left the athletic Barack Obama almost completely gray at age 55.

Both presidential candidates are habitual cover-uppers; she’s worried her illness will make her look weak, he’s worried that his tax return will make him look like a crook. And both are being covered by reporters finding it harder and harder to believe a word they say.

For myself, I will be satisfied with nothing less than his entire tax return and her personal genome.

And at the debate, I want to see Clinton do push ups, and watch Trump write at least one check to a charity not named “Trump.”

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