Republicans prove they have superhuman powers during GOP debate

During last night’s Republican debate the first question out of the gate was, “What is your biggest weakness and what are you doing to address it?”

Nobody ever answers that question honestly.

“I trust people too much and when they let me down I never forgive,” Donald Trump announced.

Trump says, my weakness is that I’m too trusting, but if you cross me, I’ll have you for breakfast. How is that weak?

Let’s hear Ted Cruz’s weakness?

“I’m a fighter,” he said. “I’m passionate about what I believe. I’ve been passionate my whole life about the Constitution.”

My weakness is I fight for all that’s right and holy, Cruz says.

How about Carly Fiorina.

“Well, gee, after the last debate I was told I didn’t smile enough,” she said.

Hey, that sounds like an actual weakness.

“But I also think these are very serious times,” she continued.

Except it is not a weakness, because she actually doesn’t think you should smile at this particular time in history.

So if their weaknesses are in fact strengths, it’s no surprise that their strengths verged on the supernatural. For example, Fiorina can reduce the tax code from 73,000 pages to three.
“Three pages is about the maximum,” she said.

Ted Cruz can reduce your tax form to a single post card. “So we can eliminate the IRS,” he proudly said.

And Mike Huckabee says the key to reducing Medicare costs is just to cure the four most expensive diseases.

“Let’s cure the four big cost driving diseases…”

Look, up in the sky! It’s a bird. It’s a plane. It’s Mike Huckabee.