Ross: Chris Rock proves that it takes courage not to fight

It’s been three days since the big slap at the Oscars, and all the headlines are still about Will Smith. And it bugs me.

“Will Smith Carefully Edited His Image For Years. It Has All Come Undone Now,” reads one.

“While Talking About Will Smith’s Behavior, Don’t Forget To Also Talk About The System That Helped Create It,” said another.

All the focus is on how Will Smith lost control, as if to say, “if we can just stop people from getting angry we can finally live in a society of peace and love.”

But you are not going to stop people from getting angry. It’s a reflex. It is wired in.

Even mild-mannered people can come unhinged when it comes to family. If you think I’m making that up, visit the King County family court sometime.

Which is why, to me, the important part of this story is not the slapper, but the slapee.

Chris Rock actually did what the New Testament teaches. He turned the other cheek, and to me, that’s worth a headline too. I realize some of the turning was an involuntary response to the momentum of Will Smith’s right hand, but it was still a remarkable example of self-control.

He did utter an expletive in disbelief, so he knew he was being abused, but there was not even the hint of retaliation. His body language clearly said, “I am standing down.”

Maybe you’ll say, “Dave, that’s that point! That’s how Will Smith should have behaved!”

OK, but he didn’t. So why not focus on the guy who did?

I think I know why – it’s because, whether we approve of the behavior or not, we associate fighting with courage. With being a man!

But it also takes manly courage not to fight. It is also courageous to know when to stand down rather than make things worse.

Anyway, I see Chris Rock is coming to the Paramount in October – when last I checked the best seats were at about $800, so maybe virtue will be rewarded after all.

Listen to Seattle’s Morning News with Dave Ross and Colleen O’Brien weekday mornings from 5 – 9 a.m. on KIRO Newsradio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.

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