Ross: It’s not easy being green (an updated version)

It’s not easy being green.

(My little friend here is referring to the Green New Deal)

Because it means Venezuela is all your fault

(That’s what they’ll say)

And your friends never invite you over

Because they’re worried you’ll confiscate their furnace, and their cars, their plastic straws, and  all their cows.

But one day you’ll be vindicated.

(Vindicated? How do you mean?)

Because when all the glaciers disappear

And the tide starts washing over the interstates,  

People will start to realize that maybe you were right after all.

(Of course that’s only if you believe scientists and computers)

But you won’t be mean about it, no.

You won’t even bother to say I told you so.

Because you’ll have your ark all ready to go

And all the people who laughed at you and called you names

Will be banging on the door

And sending nasty tweets

And the president will declare a national emergency

You’ll just … float away.

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