Ross: Vote for the presidential candidate that causes you the least embarrassment

We now face an election between two of the most disliked candidates in the history of the republic — at least that’s how pollsters tell it — and it’s left a lot of people depressed.

But I think I have a solution which I hope isn’t too cynical. I mean, it is cynical, but I hope in a constructive way.

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So let’s look at what we face: A race between two flawed major candidates. If you throw your vote away on a third-party candidate who can’t possibly win, or don’t vote at all, you look like a coward. Yet if you vote for one of the major candidates and that candidate does win, you feel responsible for the catastrophe that must follow — because both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are hopelessly flawed.

So the only way to save face is to have voted for the major candidate who loses.

Some of you may remember way back when Watergate engulfed President Nixon. The country erupted in bumper stickers that read “Don’t blame me, I’m from Massachusetts,” because that was the one state he lost.

And that’s how you want to position yourself. You want to vote for the candidate that loses. Yes, it would be better to vote based on a serious analysis of the issues. But there are so many lies flying around, I don’t think that’s possible anymore.

So you might as well vote in a way that causes you the least personal embarrassment after the election is over.

Vote for the loser, that way, when one screws up, you can say “don’t blame me, I voted for the other.”

And whatever you do don’t tell anyone this is what you’re doing! Because if it gets around, they’ll all do it, and a glorious defeat becomes a catastrophic victory, and suddenly the next four years are all your fault.

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