Suit up shoppers; it’s not a drill!
Nov 22, 2011, 8:56 AM | Updated: 12:05 pm
Listen to Dave’s Commentary: Suit up shoppers; it’s not a drill!
Unemployment, still stinks; and unemployment benefits are set to expire again, but who cares? Because we are being bailed out by America’s retailers!
“There’s only so much money to go around so we’re seeing retailers be extremly competetive with each other.”
So not only can you get a cheap 3D-ready super bright LED flat screen TV…
“But we’re also just seeing giveaways; everything from digital camers and snow globes to free coffee.”
Free coffee!
“Free coffee from Seattle’s Best; 100,000 who sign up on Facebook get a cup.”
And look what correspondent Dave Barrett found (*) at Abercrombie and Fitch:
“Shirtless guys-greeters will be at the front of those stores.”
This is real; this is not a drill. Best Buy will have a free outdoor screening of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 while you wait in line, a Las Vegas animal shelter will offer pet adopters four tickets to a Wranglers home hockey game, and a furniture chain in hard-hit Michigan is offering qualified shoppers free Android tablets, free TVs, free chairs, free beds, interest free financing, no tax, and is serving free breakfast on Black Friday.
You see what this means? We don’t need money anymore! Price are so low, you won’t need a job, just coupons.
We are gonna be like happy turkeys on a free range farm pecking at free food. And as the turkeys themselves will tell you, the key to remaining happy is not to get too curious about why they’re feeding you.
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