Thank you Facebook

Dave Ross was THIS close to picking up Facebook stock. (AP Photo/Mark Lennihan)

I don’t follow the stock market that closely. But I do
look at my monthly statement, and I will admit I’ve always
been a little disappointed that after all this time it
shows that I’m still solidly middle class.

I would have thought that by now I’d be able to endow a
modest professorship, or do a little dressage — and I
always blamed the fact that my broker never got me in on
an IPO.

I missed Microsoft, I missed Apple, I missed Amazon, I
missed Google, and so I figured my last chance to win an
IPO payday was Facebook.

I was this close to picking up the phone and telling my
adviser,’I don’t care what you say, buy Facebook!
Zuckerberg’s a genius, demand is high, it’s all anyone
talks about here at work, they made a movie about it, it
can’t lose — plus since the big crash I’m sure there are
rules to protect investors.’ Then today, I hear Rebecca
Jarvis report on allegations that:

“The lead banks on the deal cut Facebook’s revenue
forecast just days before it went public, but only shared
the information with a select few.”

And then what did these banks allegedly do?

“Morgan Stanley increased Facebook’s offering price and
the size of the deal signalling greater demand at a higher
price,” said Jarvis.

So they took a product they allegedly knew was losing
value, and made it look like it was worth more.

Where have we heard that before?

Anyway, as I say, I came very close to saying ‘Buy
Facebook,’ but at the last moment I got distracted by some
free pizza in the newsroom.

And thank goodness, because the Facebook stock chart
looks like one of those compostable eco-spoons that melt
in your soup. So thank you Facebook, for reminding us
that the the only secure place to put your money is under
a big rock.

By the way, I’ll be happy to sell you shares in my
rock. $38 a share.