The battle is over, pink slime loses

Grocery stores and schools are opting for other meat products instead of pink slime. (AP Photo/Jim Cole)

When I was in school, if we got anything even
resembling a hamburger, we would genuflect. And that was
a public school. In the latest outbreak of Nutritional
Correctness, public schools, and grocery chains are
rejecting a type of ground beef used in hamburger called
“pink slime” – Beef by products, which it turns out that
everybody except vegetarians had been eating for years
until food crusader Jaime Oliver exposed it by making some
on his TV show:

“We’re going to wash these lean bits of beef in a water
and ammonia solution,” said Oliver.

But a lot of food processes are pretty gross looking.
That’s why there are no tours of slaughterhouses.

What did it in was the term “pink slime.” Because no
one can defend anything with a name like that.

And yet it’s strange, lots of foods are slimy. Would you
complain to the waiter that your oyster was too slimy?
Never! And pink? Pink is usually a positive word. If it
had been Pinko Slime, I could understand. No one wants a
belly full of Socialism, but it was simply PINK slime.

But don’t worry, I’m not going to defend pink slime;
I’m not crazy.

I just have this question. Now that no one will eat
pink slime, it means that somewhere in America, an
enormous pile of uneaten slime is getting higher and
higher. And if the Iranians get a hold of it and start
enriching it, I don’t even want to think about it.

Although enriched pink slime, that doesn’t sound
too bad.

Subscribe to the Dave Ross Commentary podcast