DAVE ROSS

The ethical knob?

Oct 18, 2017, 6:17 AM

(AP Photo/Eric Risberg, File)...

(AP Photo/Eric Risberg, File)

(AP Photo/Eric Risberg, File)

As we all know, in a few years, we won’t have to drive anymore because intelligent cars will drive themselves.

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For example, Ford has patented a system which will allow you to choose driving styles ranging from Driving-Miss-Daisy mode to get-me-there-on-time-no-matter-what mode.

Volvo and Netflix are working on a system to tailor the length of your drive to the movie you’ve chosen to watch.

I’m ready for all that. But now, what happens when a robot vehicle senses its about to get into an unavoidable accident? For example, a Ford in get-me-there-on-time mode runs up on a Volvo crawling along for the “Lord of The Rings” trilogy. Well, don’t worry, because I heard on the news that science has an answer.

“An ethical knob that riders could use to select who gets it. It would have three settings: Full altruist, full egoist, or impartial.”

Whoa there, science people. What about a four-way stop?

We all believe in freedom, but giving American drivers this choice sounds like a bad idea to me. Remember, we license drivers without any background check. We have licensed drivers who will practice their home run swing on your windshield for honking at them. I don’t want them within reach of any ethical knob in their autonomous car. If anything they should have a shock collar in the headrest.

If you gave them an ethical knob, they’d just twist it to zero anyway. Then rip it out and throw it at your “coexist” bumper sticker.

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The ethical knob?