The joy of being ordinary

When you were in middle school, what did you want to be?

Popular.

So psychologist Joseph Allen, who teaches at the University of Virginia, decided to track a large class of middle school kids into adulthood.

“We interviewed those adolescents, their parents, their peers, we looked at how popular they were within their class,” says Allen.

In particular he wanted to focus on the most popular kids, the ones who were on the fast track. They dated early, they were famous for sneaking alcohol or drugs, and they always had a story to tell.

“What we found when we followed them up is that this fast track actually looked more like a dead end,” says Allen.

He found that kids who seek popularity at 13 and 14 got addicted to it and keep having to top themselves.

“In some sense, that’s more addictive for middle schoolers than the alcohol or the marijuana might be,” says Allen.

Their admirers soon grow weary of their antics, which means, “By high school their popularity was about average. Then when we really see problems is when they get to be young adults, 22 or 23: Everything from drunken driving arrests to losing jobs to being arrested or fighting in public.

The study didn’t look into why these kids feel such a deep need to be popular, whether it’s inborn or because of what may be going on at home. But Dr. Allen says his research should reassure the parents of the not-so-popular kids.

“If their kids are in middle school and they’re seen as being left out or left behind, maybe they’re actually doing just fine,” says Allen.

There it is kids – dare to be dull. Science says it’s the best course.