Those Secret Service agents just didn’t have anything to do

The government continues to investigate why a Secret
Service agent would end up in a shouting match with a
prostitute in Cartagena. But I think The New York Times
has it figured out: reporter William Neuman talked to the
woman, and she told him she’s not a prostitute, she’s an
escort.

People walk past Hotel El Caribe in Cartagena, Colombia, Saturday April 14, 2012. (AP Photo)

Which is important, because it’s the difference between
the $30 the agent wanted to pay, and the $800 that she
wanted to charge.

“In the morning, she tries to collect the money and
says he must pay her $800 and they argue, he gets angry,
calls her a name and kicks her out,” said Neuman.

That’s how it got out of hand. He thought he’d ordered
just the fries, but in fact he’d ordered the whole Happy
Meal.

And another twist: since prostitution, or escorting, is
legal in Cartagena, that makes her a businesswoman trying
to collect a legitimate debt, so that when the cops showed
up, they took her side.

But ultimately, there is one overriding reason this
happened. To quote a former agent who’s been on these
trips, “they just didn’t have anything to do.” The men
were bored.

I looked up the Hotel Caribe: It has two beachfront
outdoor pools, gym, free Internet, ESPN, mini-golf, a
mini-zoo, but apparently these agents had so much free
time, even all that wasn’t enough.

So you had 21 men with nothing to do. Given that times
are tight, maybe the presidential entourage doesn’t have
to be quite so big? Because as we now know, the idle male
mind is the escort’s playground.