DAVE ROSS

What will Fido do if the world ends on Saturday?

May 20, 2011, 12:30 PM | Updated: May 21, 2011, 7:32 am

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Dave Ross Commentary – Listen: What will Fido do, if the world ends on Saturday?

“It’s going to be a horror story,” says Christian preacher Harold Camping, whose followers have bought thousands of billboards naming Saturday as Judgment Day — the day they’ll be raptured into Heaven — minus their clothes. And for Bart Centre, it could not be better for business:

“Because of the demand, we increased our rates in January to $135 for the first contract, and $20 for each additional pet at that address. For that, they get 10 year rapture coverage, so rapture at any time over the period of 10 years, we’ll be there to pick up their pets and adopt them as our own.”

Bart is co-owner of Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, and on May 22nd, he will call each of his 250 plus clients to see if they’re been raptured:

“If they were not raptured, we will still pick up their pet if they like. If there is no answer they are dispatched and they go and they make the rescue.”

He’s retained 44 pet-rescuers in 26 states, all of them certified atheists:

“Our atheists all have voluntarily provided us with blasphemy in accordance with Mark 3:29, which is the only unforgivable sin and therefore negates their chance of being raptured.”

“It is going to happen, this is what the Bible teaches,” says Harold Camping.

Of course Bart doesn’t believe Harold Camping’s prediction for a moment, but what if he IS right:

“That’s exactly what we’re looking for as atheists, some objective evidence, some proof.”

And if NOTHING happens?

“There are no refunds.”

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What will Fido do if the world ends on Saturday?