DAVE ROSS

When seniors explode

Dec 6, 2011, 8:25 AM | Updated: 8:48 am

oldguy

Listen to Dave Ross Commentary: When seniors explode

The TSA has protected the flying public from toddlers, pregnant women, and now it’s the elderly’s turn:

“Do I look like a terrorist?”

No Lenore Zimmerman, you’re 85. You do not look like a terrorist, but that’s exactly the point. Your defibrillator, walker, and wheelchair make you look too innocent and therefore, liable to explode.

We have to be honest. Many elderly people are like walking medical supply outlets bristling with hiding places. Like Ruth Sherman, age 88, who was also searched at JFK last week:

“Her week-long Thanksgiving holiday with family in New York, ending with an ordeal that started when the screeners wanted to check the bulge from Sherman’s colostomy bag,” said a news report.

“This is private for me. It’s bad enough that I have it,” said Sherman.

Apparently she doesn’t realize there are entire Pakistani provinces where they do nothing but train elderly terrorists to hide C-4 in their colostomy bags?

Then there’s 60-something Linda Kallish who thought she could sneak her insulin pump past the TSA agent being that it was attached to her thigh, but they were on to that little ruse.

“She said take down your pants. I had to take my pants down so she could see it,” said Kallish.

Yes, the airport is the one place where we actually require the kind of conduct that gets coaches fired.

But what can we do? The consequences if they let the wrong person through are unthinkable.

So how about this: We tell the TSA to lighten up on the old people and we passengers promise that if an 88-year-old semi-disabled terrorist tries to make a run at the cockpit, we’ll take her down ourselves, and rip the tennis balls off her walker as a warning to others.

Subscribe to the Dave Ross Commentary podcast

Please follow our Community Guidelines

Dave's Commentary

Dave Ross on KIRO Newsradio 97.3 FM
  • listen to dave rossTune in to KIRO Newsradio weekdays at 5am for Dave Ross on Seattle's Morning News.

Dave Ross

Image: From left, Chris Sullivan, Dave Ross and Colleen O'Brien stand together in the KIRO Newsradi...

MyNorthwest Staff

Dave and Colleen’s final ‘SMN:’ KIRO colleagues, politicians say their goodbyes

"Seattle's Morning News" on KIRO Newsradio will soon have a new sound. On Thursday, Dave Ross and Colleen O'Brien will host their last show together after a decade of co-hosting.

2 years ago

Classical literature on bookshelves. (Photo by Richard Baker / In Pictures via Getty Images)...

Dave Ross

Dave Ross as you’ve never heard him before: ‘I like fat books and I can’t deny’

"This song, inspired by one of my first interviews when I started my talk show, which was Sir Mix-A-Lot," Dave Ross said.

2 years ago

national debt...

Dave Ross

‘Don’t cut a cent:’ Dave Ross on why the national debt never gets under control

The national debt now exceeds $36 trillion, and every president says it has to be under control. And yet, it never is.

2 years ago

voters hormone...

Dave Ross

Ross: Voters weren’t just voting for change, they were voting for a hormone

The more I read the post-election analysis, the more I’m convinced voters weren’t just voting for a change – they were voting for a hormone.

2 years ago

ross o'brien - Seattle's Morning News...

Frank Sumrall

Dave Ross, Colleen O’Brien departing after co-hosting ‘Seattle’s Morning News’ for a decade

Dave Ross and Colleen O'Brien, the co-hosts of "Seattle's Morning News" on KIRO Newsradio are both leaving the show.

2 years ago

election day...

Dave Ross

Dave Ross: Election Day and Decision Day are two separate things

Tomorrow is Election Day – that’s what the calendar says. But there are two problems with the term "Election Day."

2 years ago

When seniors explode