Angela Poe Russell: We can help people who feel lonely

It was something that caught me off guard. I drove up to a Starbucks drive-thru, and when I got to the window, I asked the young guy ringing me up a simple question: How are you?

He immediately reacted, looking astonished and explained that no one ever asks him that and how much he appreciated it. Then he took good care of me and offered something extra. I thought that was an isolated incident until weeks later, when I was at a different place, the same thing happened. Once again, it was a younger guy. Ever since, I’ve been scratching my head, trying to make sense of it.

I shared my experience with Richard Taylor, an author, speaker and mental health advocate.

“I think it speaks to a greater issue of the fact that we live in a world where statistics have shows the number of people who have grown to feel lonelier even in a span of ten years is up like 50 percent,” he said.

A poll from the American Psychiatric Association revealed 1 in 10 adults feels lonely everyday. And for people ages 18-24, that number triples. And guess what? In Washington, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the number is even higher — closer to 50%.

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Taylor said people experiencing this can walk around feeling invisible.

“We want to feel seen,” he said. “We want to know that we are more than just a number but that somebody knows our name, somebody acknowledges our existence. That somebody sees us as a human being who’s living life just like they are. We want to know that we matter.”

So what’s causing all this loneliness? Some experts believe we are just busier and have more distractions like unlimited streaming and social media. We just don’t prioritize connecting with people.

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How often do we see folks out with friends, yet glued to their devices? The irony is loneliness can make us want to isolate, even though the thing we need is each other. Turning this around is going to require being intentional.

In one of my old neighborhoods, we used to have dinner together on the same day each week, rotating houses and hosts. I miss those! So many good memories and true connections. But little things can make a difference as well, like saying hello to a stranger and prioritizing relationships.

Looking someone in the eye and wishing them a good day. Asking how they are and maybe following up. It’s time to do more of those things, and it won’t cost us anything but our comfort.

Usually, the things worth having are outside our comfort zones anyway.

Angela Poe Russell is a local media personality and contributor to KIRO Newsradio.