Curley: WA lawmakers celebrate Seahawks, then want to tax them millions

You can play the mayor of New York and the mayor of Philadelphia, for the tradition that started back in 1911.

That is when Mayor Gaynor took on Blankenberg and said, “Listen, if our team wins, then we’re gonna send food, you’ve got to send us this, and I’ve got to send you that, a hot dog or something.”

And that was the normal exchange of bets, depending upon sports outcomes. Pittsburgh, the mayor of Green Bay had this stupid bet, which was: whichever team won, the mayor of the losing team would have to go shovel snow at the mayor’s house in that city.

The Pittsburgh mayor ends up getting caught on camera saying, “What a dumb idea it was.”

You had to shovel snow over near the church or something like that. Or you get the awkward photos of the guy who has to take a picture of the other person in the awkward shirt. Wagers sometimes turn out to be not so friendly, like the mayor of San Francisco got into a bit of a peeing match with the mayor of Oakland, because when the mayor of San Francisco says, “Well, what do you want from the mayor of Oakland if you win?”

He says, “I don’t want anything from Oakland. There’s nothing I ever want from Oakland.”

Well, then, apparently, the two mayors end up so upset with one another that they wouldn’t return each other’s calls.

Sen. Torres decides we get to celebrate the Seahawks

So elected mayors love this story because it’s easy. They make headlines, it appears, and the fans get the feeling, “Oh, he’s one of us,” or “She’s one of us.”

Here’s Sen. Nikki Torres, she’s announcing in this new State Resolution 8683 that, well, we got to celebrate the Seahawks.

“The season was guided by strong leadership, including quarterback Sam Darnold, whose steady play, poise under pressure, and command of the offense helped set the tone for the Seahawks from week one through the Super Bowl. The season also showcased excellence across the roster, Jaxon Smith-Njigba …. ” Torres said, pronouncing Smith-Njigba wrong.

I’m terrible with last names, but you should get that one right.

“Jaxon Smith-Njigba’s breakout year that earned him recognition as the NFL Offensive Player of the Year, while the Seahawks defense, known to fans as the Dark Side, set the tone week after week, with its speed, discipline, and dominance,” Torres continued.

Nikki Torres, I like where you are on the millionaire tax, but just work on the players’ names ahead of time before you go in. Besides, they have a limited amount of time, right? They got a short session on this thing. Do we really need them to be doing this? Doing a resolution, where they do the big let’s recognize that the Seahawks won.

Celebrating players they’d tax millions

By the way, with the millionaire tax, I looked it up, Sam Darnold, now you love him. If the thing were in place right now, he’d pay the city $1.2 million. Kupp would pay $827,000 to the state of Washington.

These are all taxes.

If the millionaire tax were in place, I know you love Julian Love. You love him so much, you’re willing to take $550,000 from him.

So what happens is these mayors decide they’re going to make this thing kind of a fun sort of bet, and it’s so obvious they don’t know anything really about sports.

“Look, I know Boston has a lot of history, but I’ve got some tea for you. The Seahawks are going to destroy the Patriots on Sunday. And hey, I know you guys are really proud of your lobster out there, but I think everyone knows that our Dungeness crab is what is really world-class,” Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson said.

The battle of crustaceans ….

“And just like the Seahawks, they dominate from the first snap,” Wilson continued. “So here’s a little proposition for you. I’m so confident in our Hawks, I’m willing to wager some of our world-famous Dungeness crabs straight out of Pike Place Market. Are you willing to back up your patriots with some of that Boston lobster?”

Massachusetts Governor Maura Healey chimed in while wagering with Washington Governor Bob Ferguson.

“In the unlikely event you win, here’s what we’re going to send you. Legal Seafoods, famous New England Clam Chowder and lobster rolls, maybe some East Coast oysters,” Healey said.

There should be some pain involved

You know what they should do? It should be if you lose, you’re the losing mayor or governor. You have to run like a post or a slant pattern, and the other mayor or governor is allowed to tackle you, open field tackle.

You have to risk something. There needs to, there needs to be a little pain involved.

My thing would be, no bets, no first pitches, no dumb dances, just fill potholes and put criminals in jail. That’s it. That’s all you have to do. Or if you do, bet there should be some risk of physical injury or deep embarrassment.

Listen to John Curley weekday afternoons from 3 – 7 p.m. on KIRO Newsradio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.

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