Candy: Your phone doesn’t belong anywhere near a bathroom stall

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring not even salmonella or E. coli. And do you know why? Because you didn’t take your phone into the bathroom.

Candy: Don’t say ‘Ok Boomer’ at work

Your phone shouldn’t be in the bathroom stall at all — tell me I’m wrong.

I’ll admit, I judge you when I see you walk into the bathroom looking at a screen because I know you will likely still be looking at your screen while doing your business. I’m sorry that no one has told you this but that is not OK.

I’m not even a germaphobe, but if you wipe or flush then scroll, why even wash your hands at all? You realize all the bacteria you just put on your phone will end up back on your hands and in your mouth. Why are you like this?

There are things we know not to do in the bathroom stall:

1. Place your bag on the floor
2. Eat your lunch
3. FaceTime

Now we just need to start a movement about having your phone out in the bathroom stall. Maybe we can start by publicly shaming your friends into good habits.

You don’t understand the word ‘offended’

Really, it’s pretty simple. Don’t hand me your phone to look at your kids sitting on Santa’s lap if the last place you looked at that pic was sitting on the porcelain throne.

Listen to the Candy, Mike and Todd Show weekday afternoons from 3-7 p.m. on KIRO Radio, 97.3 FM. Subscribe to the podcast here.

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