KIRO NEWSRADIO OPINION

KIRO Nights on dating rules, timeframes: How long is too long to wait?

Feb 18, 2024, 6:25 PM | Updated: Oct 8, 2024, 11:26 am

Image:A Mexican Mariachi band surrounded by heart-shaped balloons awaits the arrival of a couple's ...

A Mexican Mariachi band surrounded by heart-shaped balloons awaits the arrival of a couple's wedding proposal ceremony at the Lake Hollywood Park in Los Angeles, on Valentine's Day, Feb. 14, 2022. (Photo: Damian Dovarganes, AP)

(Photo: Damian Dovarganes, AP)

Valentine’s Day may be in the past, but what about those who are still looking for love? And when those looking actually find it, what are the rules and timeframes for the stages of the relationship?

On a recent edition of KIRO Nights with Jake Skorheim, Jake, KIRO Newsradio anchor and reporter Lisa Brooks and I tackled these affairs of the heart.

What sparked the discussion was a revealing moment on Seattle’s Morning News when traffic and features reporter Micki Gamez, Colleen O’Brien and Dave Ross chatted about “love psychic” Deborah Graham’s tips for finding the one for you.

As Micki explained in her piece, one of the rules Graham has set for dating is “Always go out on three dates within three weeks and don’t consummate the relationship for three months.”

From Micki Gamez: A love psychic shares her story and tips

Dave’s revelation that he had waited for marriage wasn’t something we often hear in the age of Tinder and casual connecting. And Graham’s mention of the rule of threes provoked some polar opposite opinions.

Several listeners said it was hard to find someone who wasn’t pressuring to get physical and who wanted to be in a serious, long-term relationship. Others thought holding back indicated deeper insecurities and said they wouldn’t be hanging around waiting.

Jake was glad he abstained as he got to know his future bride, who he met working here in the KIRO Newsradio studios years ago. And Lisa and I agreed that just because someone’s not eager to get physical doesn’t make them a prude. It could simply be that they want to protect themselves or have different priorities in their ideal relationship. But whatever the values people hold dear, there probably is someone out there who’s the right match.

From Gee Scott: The top 10 worst things to do for Valentine’s Day

The challenge though, is finding that person or people. In the words of a Smokey Robinson and the Miracles classic, “You Better Shop Around” to find the perfect partner. But it seems dating apps aren’t as good as they used to be (if they ever were any good).

Jake also asked Matt and Lisa if they’d ever used dating apps to find their perfect match. Both had tried, but had very little success. So, while your perfect match is probably out there somewhere, it’s just as hard to find them as ever it seems. Even with more options to “shop around.”

Matt Butler is the producer of KIRO Nights with Jake Skorheim.

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KIRO Nights on dating rules, timeframes: How long is too long to wait?