Harger: 16 words about how oatmeal raisin cookies are the best cookies, and the KIRO text line has not forgiven me

I said 16 words about cookies. It was the most divisive thing I’ve done on the radio.

My commentary on Thursday was about greeting cards and artificial intelligence. Nobody remembers that part.

They remember the warm-up line.

“I have a lot of divisive opinions. I know this about myself. Oatmeal raisin cookies beat chocolate chip. It’s not even close. The raisins are the whole point.”

Sixteen words about cookies. That’s all it took.

The KIRO Newsradio text line turned into a city council comment period

By the time I finished the actual commentary, the KIRO Newsradio text line looked like a city council comment period. My co-host Manda Factor turned to me with the look she usually saves for breaking news.

“This is the hill you’re going to die on today?” she asked. “I think that’s the most negative response you’ve ever gotten from texters. The oatmeal raisin specifically.”

She wasn’t exaggerating. Tamara in Tacoma wrote, “I am with Manda on this one, chocolate chip all the way, raisins PLECK.” A listener in the 240 area code sent “Oh Charlie … Oh boy … raisins …” followed by an emoji I can’t print in good conscience. A listener in the 425 went rogue entirely and just texted one word: “Snickerdoodle.”

Donna in Lacey was horrified. Laurie in Auburn stood firm. Blue Santa Jim weighed in

I had defenders. Donna in Lacey was horrified, but Laurie in Auburn stood firm: “Oatmeal raisin over chocolate chip every day.” Dan in Issaquah backed me up. So did Blue Santa Jim, and you don’t argue with Blue Santa Jim. A listener in the 360 claimed they once read that people who eat oatmeal raisin have higher IQs than those who eat chocolate chip. I cannot verify this study. I choose to believe it exists.

Then there were the negotiators. Philip in Olympia put oatmeal raisin in his top five, but not No. 1. Glenn in Duvall made a passionate case for chocolate chip with walnuts. Isabella ranked oatmeal raisin second only to peanut butter and declared that chocolate chip doesn’t crack her top five at all, which might be the most radical position anyone took all morning.

Gee Scott invoked Dr. King. In defense of chocolate chip cookies

Then Gee Scott from the Gee and Ursula Show walked into the studio to talk about something else entirely. We couldn’t let him leave without a ruling.

“With all due respect,” he began, “because where I’m from, if you say that first, then anything you say after that is fine. Hey, Charlie. I liked you better when I first met you.”

Then he went big.

“When Dr. King gave his ‘I Have a Dream’ speech, it was on the heels of chocolate chip cookies, because he knew that Black folks and white folks could all come together and agree on a chocolate chip cookie. Left, right, CCA or no CCA.”

He looked me dead in the eye and delivered the verdict: “Of all your commentaries, and you know how I feel about your commentaries, this might have ended up being your worst one.”

Manda piled on by siding with Chris in Lake Tapps, who nominated oatmeal scotchies. At that point, I was outnumbered in my own studio.

Chocolate chip is the default for a reason. That’s also the problem

I’ll give the other side their best argument. Chocolate chip is the default for a reason. It’s the cookie at every bake sale, every open house, every grandma’s kitchen counter in America. Gee’s right that it unites people.

But that’s exactly my point. Chocolate chip is the safe pick. Oatmeal raisin is a choice. The chew, the spice, the way a raisin earns its place instead of just melting and quitting as a chocolate chip does. And as Sarah in Arlington put it, there are always some left on the tray when the chocolate chip cookies are long gone. The oatmeal raisin people know what we have.

We spent a morning arguing about cookies, and nobody got hurt. That used to be normal

Here’s why I loved every second of this.

We spent a morning arguing, and nobody got hurt. Gee insulted me to my face, and we both laughed. Texters told me I’d betrayed them and signed off with their names. One listener said it was the best commentary ever, mostly because it was her birthday.

We don’t get much practice disagreeing like that anymore. Most arguments now come pre-loaded with stakes, sides, and the assumption that the person across from you is a lost cause. A cookie fight is a reminder that you can think someone is completely, catastrophically wrong and still want them at your table.

The big disagreements deserve to be taken seriously. I take them seriously every day on this job. But maybe the small, silly ones are the reps. They keep the muscle working. The one who remembers the person you’re arguing with is a person.

So thank you, KIRO Newsradio texters. Even you, Tamara.

The raisins are still the whole point.

Charlie Harger is the host of “Seattle’s Morning News” on KIRO Newsradio. You can read more of his stories and commentaries here. Follow Charlie on X and email him here. 

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