Jake: ‘Down With the Sickness’ at a T-ball game? This dad has had enough of walk-up music for six-year-olds

I need to get something off my chest.

The first time I saw it, I told myself it was a fluke. Then I saw it again. And again. Last night at my son’s T-ball game — and yes, T-ball, where kids are so young they get five swings at a coach’s pitch before we load up a tee — the opposing team’s leadoff hitter waddled to the plate while a team mom blasted walk-up music from a Bluetooth speaker.

I cringed. Hard.

Look, I know walk-up music is great in the big leagues. It pumps up the crowd, it’s part of the show, I get it. But we’ve always understood that some pro-sports culture doesn’t belong in kids’ games.

When an NFL player scores a touchdown, he can Griddy all he wants. When my son’s flag football teammate does it? Penalty. Poor sportsmanship. And I’m completely fine with both of those things being true at the same time.

Leave some baseball traditions to the pros

Walk-up music for six-year-olds falls firmly in the “leave it at the pro level” category.

Here’s my real problem, though: It never stops at one thing. It only ever escalates. Walk-up music is annoying, sure, but it’s the floor, not the ceiling.

Some parents are already plotting their next move. And before you laugh, go check Amazon right now. Remote-triggered smoke machines exist. They’re cheap, and I promise you they are coming to a T-ball diamond near you. Picture it: A kid crushes one straight to the pitcher, somehow beats the throw to first, and boom! Smoke explosion from the bleachers.

Insane? Yes. Impossible? Absolutely not.

We used to show up, cheer our teammates’ names, and play ball. That was enough. It was actually great. Let’s not let Little League turn into a production that the six-year-olds definitely didn’t ask for and the parents definitely can’t stop themselves from one-upping.

For fun, here’s the first inning walk-up tracks, in order: “Down with the Sickness” by Disturbed, “I’m Still Standing” by Elton John, “Turn Down for What” by DJ Snake and Lil John, “Nothin’ but a Good Time” by Poison, and “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC. At a T-ball game. For six-year-olds. You can’t make this stuff up.

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