Ross: Baby coaches, and why the future of parenting is just like the past
Jun 3, 2019, 7:24 AM | Updated: 12:55 pm
As it turns out, modern parenting differs little from what we did in the past. (Pexels)
(Pexels)
I see that some companies are now hiring baby sleep coaches for their key employees, so they don’t have to come to work groggy and unproductive the next morning because of a fussing baby.
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Couples today move away from the grandparents; both have careers, they get desperate, so they hire a $1,200 baby coach to sleep in.
I remember when our first kid was born. I wasn’t getting any sleep. I was desperate. Baby sleep coaches didn’t exist. But I noticed that when I went into our tiny bathroom and turned on the water, the kid stopped crying. So that’s what I did. Now she’s almost 40 and sleeps through the night just fine.
Out of curiosity, I checked out a baby coach video to see how the modern parent does it.
“Well for grownups, we like quiet when we sleep, but newborn babies are exactly the opposite because the womb is loud – as loud as a vacuum cleaner,” a woman in the video said.
So here’s the secret:
“So, we’re going to download a white noise app from the iPad.”
A white noise app!
“When you hear her start fussing, you take advantage of the fact that white noise machine is in the background, and start shushing along with it to help her calm — ‘shhh!'”
White noise… and say “shhhh,” and the baby drifts off to sleep. Which leads me to conclude once again: The future is pretty much like the past, except with a computer in your hand.
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