Ask Ursula: I need help managing Gen Z employees and their ‘blank stares’

Hi, I’m Ursula Reutin, co-host of “The Gee and Ursula Show,” and I’m thrilled to introduce my new advice column, Ask Ursula, where I help people navigate family, friendships, work, and all the messy, beautiful moments in between.

If you need any advice, reach out to me at askursula@bonneville.com or fill out this form here.

For purposes of brevity, clarity, or anonymity, some of the original letters to Ask Ursula have been slightly edited

Frustrated Supervisor

Dear Ursula,

I manage a few Gen Z employees, and there’s one who has been a real challenge.

She’s very awkward. For over two years, I’d say “good morning” and just get a blank stare back. No response.

Her work ethic is also an issue. When she runs out of tasks, I’ve told her and the team to check in with coworkers and offer help. I’ve said it in person, sent multiple messages, and had another team lead reinforce it. But nothing has really changed.

Instead, she’ll spend hours on her phone or computer, or just walking around. There have been at least two times when she disappeared for half the day and then came back right before clocking out. The work assigned to her just sat there untouched.

When I try to correct mistakes, she gets defensive and takes it personally. It’s gotten to the point where it’s difficult to even give feedback without it becoming an issue. And I don’t treat her any differently than anyone else.

At this point, I’m frustrated. I don’t understand why this hasn’t improved in over two years, and honestly, why I don’t feel like I can let her go.

Is there anything I can do?

Signed,

Frustrated Supervisor

Dear Frustrated Supervisor,

This doesn’t sound like a Gen Z problem. It sounds like an employee who isn’t meeting the basic expectations of the job.

And it’s crazy that this has been going on for two years! That is unacceptable!

You have to ask yourself why she thinks she can get away with this. Have you been clear about expectations and consequences? Have you told her exactly what a productive day looks like and what happens if she doesn’t meet those responsibilities?

If expectations aren’t clear and aren’t enforced, she’s not the only problem.  You’ve unintentionally created an environment where that behavior is allowed. And once it’s allowed, it spreads. It is toxic!

If you truly feel you have made expectations clear and she continues to ignore directions, that’s a lack of respect for the job and for you as her manager.

You need to set up a meeting where you lay out exactly what needs to change, immediately. Then, if you have a Human Resources department, work with them and put her on a formal Performance Improvement Plan (PIP). You can also do this on your own.  Be specific. What tasks need to be completed, what her day should look like, and give a clear deadline. Document everything.

If those changes don’t happen, she will not have a job. PERIOD. FULL STOP.

Because this isn’t just about her anymore. When one person consistently doesn’t pull their weight, it affects the entire team. It’s already affecting you, and everyone else is watching how you handle it.

As a former manager, I’ve been in your position, and it’s not easy. I hope this advice helps.

With love,

Ursula

Perfume advice for someone looking for a vanilla base

And, as a bonus, more people, including Kara below, have reached out for perfume advice.

Dear, Ursula

I have a perfume question! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE PERFUMES. Looking for something that’s sweet with a vanilla base!

Signed,

Kara

Hi Kara,

Thank you for your question for Ask Ursula. I’m thrilled to hear that you are also getting into perfumes. THERE ARE SO MANY CHOICES FOR VANILLA LOVERS. Here are just a few of my faves!

Kayali Vanilla 28 is a warm, grown-up vanilla. Think brown sugar, amber, soft musk … even a little boozy, like real vanilla extract.

Only Human by NOYZ — this one is addictive. It is a beautiful vanilla without being too syrupy. It blends bright bergamot (citrusy) and pink pepper with a fresh, watery heart of bamboo and water lily. It has pretty good projection, and it’s affordable.

Dulce by Rosie Jane is your cozy choice. It smells like melting vanilla ice cream! It has small hints of chocolate and a soft, woody base. Very lightweight.

And if you want something a little stronger, Burberry Goddess is beautiful with great projection and a little more presence. Some people don’t like the lavender note in the Intense version, but I love it.

One of the things I love about perfumes is how they take you somewhere. It’s never just about smelling good; it’s about feeling something again.

I hope my suggestions help you find that signature scent!

With love,

Ursula

Listen to Gee and Ursula on “The Gee and Ursula Show” weekday mornings from 9 am to 12 pm on KIRO Newsradio.

Follow @https://twitter.com/UrsulaKIROFM